Fatherless Households
5:10 *5 Things You Should Know About Fatherless Homes
The
Fatherless Generations (Gen Zed & Alpha)
Father Factor in Education – Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.
Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse – Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.
Father Factor in Incarceration – Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds. A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail. Father Factor in Crime – A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency. Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk. A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parent Father Factor in Child Abuse – Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000. Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves. Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.
Census Fatherhood Statistics
Source: thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/ The
Consequences of Fatherlessness As supported by the data below, children from fatherless homes are more likely to be poor, become involved in drug and alcohol abuse, drop out of school, and suffer from health and emotional problems. Boys are more likely to become involved in crime, and girls are more likely to become pregnant as teens 1. Poverty Children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor. In 2011, 12 percent of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 44 percent of children in mother-only families. Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2011, Table C8. Washington D.C.: 2011. Children living in female-headed families with no spouse present had a poverty rate of 47.6 percent, over 4 times the rate in married-couple families. Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; ASEP Issue Brief: Information on Poverty and Income Statistics. September 12, 2012 http://aspe.hhs.gov/hsp/12/PovertyAndIncomeEst/ib.shtml 2. Drug and Alcohol Abuse The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states, “Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse.” Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center for Health Statistics. Survey on Child Health. Washington, DC, 1993. There is significantly more drug use among children who do not live with their mother and father. Source: Hoffmann, John P. “The Community Context of Family Structure and Adolescent Drug Use.” Journal of Marriage and Family 64 (May 2002): 314-330. 3. Physical and Emotional Health A study of 1,977 children age 3 and older living with a residential father or father figure found that children living with married biological parents had significantly fewer externalizing and internalizing behavioral problems than children living with at least one non-biological parent. Source: Hofferth, S. L. (2006). Residential father family type and child well-being: investment versus selection. Demography, 43, 53-78. Children of single-parent homes are more than twice as likely to die by suicide. Sources: The Lancet, Jan. 25, 2003 • Gunilla Ringbäck Weitoft, MD, Centre for Epidemiology, the National Board of Health and Welfare, Stockholm, Sweden • Irwin Sandler, PhD, professor of psychology and director of the Prevention Research Center, Arizona State University, Tempe • Douglas G. Jacobs, MD, associate clinical professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School; and founder and director, The National Depression Screening Program • Madelyn Gould, PhD, MPH, professor of child psychiatry and public health, College of Physicians and Surgeons, Columbia University; and research scientist, New York State Psychiatric Institute. http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20030123/absent-parent-doubles-child-suicide-risk Data from three waves of the Fragile
Families Study (N= 2,111) was used to examine the prevalence
and effects of mothers’ relationship changes between
birth and age 3 on their children’s well-being.
Children born to single mothers show higher levels of
aggressive behavior than children born to married mothers.
Living in a single-mother household is equivalent to
experiencing 5.25 partnership transitions. Effects of
Parents on Crime Rates The absence of the father is the single most important cause of crime.1) In fact, boys who are fatherless from birth are three times as likely to go to jail as peers from intact families, while boys whose fathers do not leave until they are 10 to 14 years old are two times as likely to go to jail as their peers from intact families.2) According to Robert Rector of the Heritage Foundation, children without a father are more than twice as likely to be arrested for a juvenile crime and are three times more likely to go to jail by the time they reach age 30 than are children raised in intact families.3) Adolescents who had a positive relationship with their fathers are less likely to be arrested, belong to a gang, damage property, steal, or run away compared to their peers with less positive relationships with their fathers.4) Along with the increased probability of family poverty and heightened risk of delinquency, a father's absence is associated with a host of other social problems. The three most prominent effects are lower intellectual development, higher levels of illegitimate parenting in the teenage years, and higher levels of welfare dependency.5) According to a 1990 report from the Department of Justice, more often than not, missing and “throwaway” children come from single-parent families, families with step parents, and cohabiting-adult families. 2. Role of Mothers The early experience of intense maternal affection is the basis for the development of a conscience and moral compassion for others.6) According to Chuck Smith, a Kansas State University child development expert, “as a child grows and matures, the mother—whether biological or a stepmother—plays an important role in her child's development, character and attitudes.”7) If a child's emotional attachment to their mother is disrupted during the first few years, permanent harm can be done to the child's capacity for emotional attachment to others. The child will be less able to trust others and throughout his or her life will stay more distant emotionally from others. Having many different caretakers during the first few years can lead to a loss of this sense of attachment for life and to antisocial behavior.8) Separation from the mother, especially between six months and three years of age, can lead to long-lasting negative effects on behavior and emotional development. Severe maternal deprivation is a critical ingredient of juvenile delinquency. As John Bowlby, the father of attachment research, puts it, “Theft, like rheumatic fever, is a disease of childhood, and, as in rheumatic fever, attacks in later life are frequently in the nature of recurrences.”9) A child's emotional attachment to their mother is powerful in other ways. For example, even after a period of juvenile delinquency, a young man's ability to become emotionally attached to his wife can make it possible for him to turn away from crime.10) This capacity is rooted in the very early attachment to his mother. We also know that a weak marital attachment resulting in separation or divorce accompanies a continuing life of crime.11) Many family conditions can weaken a mother's attachment to her young child. Perhaps the mother herself struggles with emotional detachment.12) The mother could be so lacking in family and emotional support that she cannot fill the emotional needs of the child. She could return to work, or be forced to return to work, too soon after the birth of her child. Or, while she is at work, there could be a change in the personnel responsible for the child's day care. The more prevalent these conditions, the less likely a child will be securely attached to their mother and the more likely they will be hostile and aggressive.13) 3. Effects of Parental Fighting The empirical evidence shows that, for a growing child, the happiest, safest, and most tranquil family situation is the intact primary marriage.14) But even within intact two-parent families, serious parental conflict has bad effects. The famous studies of Harvard professors Sheldon and Eleanor Glueck in the 1950s found that one-third of delinquent boys in their sample came from homes with spouse abuse. The Cambridge-Somerville Youth Study observed that the incidence of delinquent behavior was higher in intact homes characterized by a high degree of conflict and neglect than it was in broken homes without conflict.15) As this and other studies have shown, the lack of emotional attachment to parents is more strongly related to delinquency than is an intact home.16) Professor Kevin N. Wright, in his review of the literature for the Department of Justice, lists 21 other major studies that clearly show the link between parental conflict and delinquency.17) The lesson is clear: conflict between parents hurts the child. The more frequent or intense the conflict, the more the child is hurt emotionally. Violence within families not only increases the likelihood that children in those families will engage in disruptive behaviors but also that they will reflect that abuse on their spouse and children when they are older.18) 4. Effects of Parental Breakup In 2008, there were over 8 million divorced adults in the United States.19) Breakup of a child's parents' marriage during the first five years of their life places a child at high risk of becoming a juvenile delinquent.20) This breakup – through either divorce or separation – is most likely to occur three to four years after marriage. Therefore, a large proportion of very young children experience the emotional pain of the early and final stages of marital dissolution at a time when they are most vulnerable to disruptions in their emotional attachment to their parents.21) This instability continues to impact adolescents as they mature. Teens in blended or divorced families tend to have more behavioral problems, like using tobacco, binge drinking, weapon carrying, physical fighting, or sexual activity.22) Conflict within “step families” (families where at least one of the married parents is not the biological parent of all the children) also has serious effects. According to the California Youth Authority study of female delinquents, conducted by Jill Leslie Rosenbaum, professor of criminology at California State University, “In the two parent families examined in this study a great deal of conflict was present. Of these parents, 71 percent fought regularly about the children. Since there were often 'his', 'hers' and 'theirs' present, the sources of conflict tended to result from one set of children having a bad influence on the others, the type of punishment invoked, or one particular child receiving too much attention.”23) Rates of conflict are much higher outside intact married families.24) The rates of emotional and behavioral problems of children are more than double in step families.25) Given their impact on children, the marriage arrangements of parents have significant effects on the incidence of teenage crime. 5. Influence of Criminal Parents (See Effects of Criminal Parents on Children) Violent youth often come from violent parents. In 2007, over 1.5 million children had a father in prison, and over 147,000 children had a mother in prison.26) Violent youth are the most likely to have witnessed conflict and violence between their parents.27) They also are the most likely to commit a serious violent crime and to become “versatile” criminals – those engaged in a variety of crimes, including, theft, fraud, and drugs.28) Among these youths, physically or sexually abused boys commit the most violent offenses.29) Internal family violence is only one major contributor to adolescent violence in these socially disorganized neighborhoods. The neighborhood itself (which includes the youth's violent peers, also rooted in their own broken families) is the other powerful contributor,30) especially to violent delinquency,31) and its culture of aggression and violence is imported into the school. 6. Quality of Parenting As a child's emotional attachment to his parents ensures a well- adjusted adult,32) so parental rejection of the child has powerful opposite effects. Ronald Simons, professor of sociology at Iowa State University, summarizes the research findings: “Rejected children tend to distrust and attribute malevolent motives to others, with the result being a defensive, if not aggressive, approach to peer interactions…. Such [rejecting] parents not only fail to model and reinforce prosocial behavior, they actually provide training in aggressive noncompliant behavior.”33) Rejection by the family, which is the child's first and fundamental “community,” sets the stage for another social tragedy. Rejected children tend gradually to drop out of normal community life. Professor Simons continues: “Parental rejection… increased the probability of a youth's involvement in a deviant peer group, reliance upon an avoidant coping style, and use of substances.”34) Many other studies in the professional literature replicate these findings.35) Bonding between children and parents is critical to helping protect against youth violence.36) Resources 1) Kevin N. Wright and Karen E. Wright, “Family Life and Delinquency and Crime: A Policymaker’s Guide to the Literature,” prepared under interagency agreement between the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention and the Bureau of Justice Assistance of the U.S. Department of Justice, 1992. See reference to Ann Goetting, “Patterns of Homicide Among Children,” Criminal Justice and Behavior 35, no. 1 (1989): 31-44. 2) Cynthia C. Harper and Sara S. McLanahan, “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration,” Journal of Research on Adolescence 14, (2004): 369-397. 3) Robert Rector, “Marriage: America’s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty,” The Heritage Foundation (September 16, 2010). Available at http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2010/09/marriage-america-s-greatest-weapon-against-child-poverty Accessed July 7, 2015. 4) Jacinta Bronte-Tinkew and Kristin A. Moore, “The Father-Child Relationship, Parenting Styles, and Adolescent Risk Behaviors in Intact Families,” Journal of Family Issues 27, no. 6 (June 2006): 850-881. 5) For a more comprehensive overview of the professional literature on the relationship between illegitimacy and these negative social phenomena, see Fagan, “Rising Illegitimacy, America’s Social Catastrophe.” 6) Jay Belsky “The Effects of Infant Day Care Reconsidered,” Early Childhood Research Quarterly 3, (1988): 235-272. On the vital connection between family and moral capacity, Wright and Wright, “Family Life and Delinquency and Crime,” summarizes the findings of the professional literature as follows: “Ainsworth suggested that children seek and accept the parent’s guidance, further maintaining that secure children obey voluntarily from their own desire rather than from fear of reprisal.” “Arbuthnot et al. in an attempt to understand moral development and family relationships, suggested that dysfunctional families experiencing high levels of conflict, dominance, hostility, lack of warmth, and authoritarian disciplinary styles do not allow children to gain insight and understanding into how their misbehaving might cause hurt to others. Under these negative family conditions, children cannot develop conventional moral reasoning with roots in acceptance of mutual expectations, positive social intentions, belief in and maintenance of the social system and acceptance of motives which includes duties and respect. Based on their review of the literature, Arbuthnot concluded that nearly all studies utilizing moral assessment devices with acceptable psychometric properties have shown that delinquents.“ “They argue that delinquency can be anticipated when children or adolescents are unable to see the perspective of others and lack empathy for other people’s circumstances. When conformity to rules of behavior for the sake of order in society is not accepted, when property is only valued in its possession, when personal relationships, even life itself are valued only for their utility, then delinquency behavior should not be a surprise. Moral or normative development at a more advanced level may be necessary for young people to move beyond utility to moral justification for correct behavior. The young persons must develop a sense of moral justification to have the ability and commitment to act accordingly when faced with temptation, economic deprivation or intense peer group pressure.” 7) Charles Smith, “A Powerful Connection: Mother-Child Bond Plays Role in Child’s Growth, Development,” Kansas State University (May 6, 2011). Available at https://www.k-state.edu/media/newsreleases/may11/motherchild50611.html. Accessed June 22, 2001. 8) R.J. Cadoret and C. Cain, “Sex Differences in Predictors of Antisocial Behavior in Adoptees,” Archives of General Psychiatry 37, (1980): 1171-1175. 9) Robert Karen, Becoming Attached (New York: Time Warner Books, 1994), chapter 4. 10) Robert J. Sampson and John L. Laub, “Crime and Deviance Over the Life Course: The Salience of Adult Social Bonds,” American Sociological Quarterly 5, (1990): 609-627. Larry Siegel and Brandon Welsh, Juvenile Delinquency: Theory, Practice, and Law, (Stamford: Cengage Learning 2014), 217. 11) David P. Farrington, “Later Adult Life Outcomes of Offenders and Nonoffenders,” in Children at Risk: Assessment, Longitudinal Research and Intervention, ed. Michael Brambring et al. (New York: Walter de Gruyter, 1989), 220-244, cited in Wright and Wright, “Family Life and Delinquency and Crime: A Policymaker’s Guide to the Literature.” 12) Robert Karen, Becoming Attached. The research for the following statements is reviewed in this book, which is the most comprehensive and interestingly written overview of the attachment literature to date. 13) Le Grande Gardner and Donald J. Shoemaker, “Social Bonding and Delinquency: A Comparative Analysis,” The Sociological Quarterly 30, no. 3 (1989): 481-500. 14) A primary marriage is one in which both husband and wife are in their first marriage. Melinda Yexley, Iris Borowsky and Marjorie Ireland, “Correlation Between Different Experiences of Intrafamilial Physical Violence and Violent Adolescent Behavior,” Journal of Interpersonal Violence 17, (2002): 707-720. 15) Cited in Van Voorhis et al. “The Impact of Family Structure and Quality on Delinquency: A Comparative Assessment of Structural and Functional Factors.” 16) Travis Hirschi, Causes of Delinquency (Berkley: University of California Press, 1969). 17) Wright and Wright, “Family Life and Delinquency and Crime: A Policymaker’s Guide to the Literature,” 11. 18) Richard E. Heyman and Amy M. Smith, “Do Child Abuse and Interparental Violence Lead to Adulthood Family Violence?” Journal of Marriage and Family 64, no. 4 (November 2002): 864-870. Alexandra Loukas, “Developmental Trajectories of Disruptive Behavior Problems Among Sons of Alcoholics: Effects of Parent Psychopathology, Family Conflict, and Child Undercontrol,” Journal of Abnormal Psychology 112, no. 1 (2003): 119-131. 19) US National Center for Health Statistics, Vital Statistics of the United States, and National Vital Statistics Report, Table 78. http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2012/tables/12s0078.pdf. 20) Rolf Loeber, “Development and Risk Factors of Juvenile Antisocial Behavior and Delinquency,” Clinical Psychology Review 10, (1990): 1-41.; Rolf Loeber and Magda Stouthamer-Loeber, “Family Factors as Correlates and Predictors of Juvenile Conduct Problems and Delinquency,” in Crime and Justice: An Annual Review of Research, ed. M. Tonry and N. Morris (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1986) 7, 29-149. 21) David P. Farrington, “Later Adult Life Outcomes of Offenders and Nonoffenders,” in Children at Risk: Assessment, Longitudinal Research and Intervention, ed. Michael Brambring et al. (New York: Walter de Gruyter, 1989), 220-244 22) Kathleen B. Rodgers and Hillary A. Rose, “Risk and Resiliency Factors Among Adolescents Who Experience Marital Transitions,” Journal of Marriage and Family 64, no. 4 (November 2002): 1024-1037. 23) Jill L. Rosenbaum, “Family Dysfunction and Female Delinquency,” Crime and Delinquency 35, (1989): 31-44. 24) Carolyn Wolf Harlow, “Female Victims of Violent Crime” (Washington: U.S. Department of Justice, 1991). 25) Nicholas Zill and Charlotte A. Schoenborn, “Developmental Learning and Emotional Problems: Health of Our Nation’s Children, United States, 1988,” in Advance Data from the Vital and Health Statistics of the National Center for Health Statistics no. 190, (November 1990). “Stepfamilies in the United States: A Fact Sheet,” National Healthy Marriage Resource Center (February 2009). 26) Lauren Glaze and Laura Maruschak, Parents in Prison and Their Minor Children (Washington, D.C.: Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2008). 27) Candace Kruttschmitt, Linda Heath, and David A. Ward, “Family Violence, Television View Habits and Other Adolescent Experiences Related to Violent Criminal Behavior,” Criminology 24, (1986): 235-267. 28) Rolf Loeber, “Development and Risk Factors of Juvenile Antisocial Behavior and Delinquency,” Clinical Psychology Review 10, (1990): 1-41. 29) Cathy Spatz Widom, “Child Abuse, Neglect, and Violent Criminal Behavior,” Criminology 27, no. 2 (1989): 251-271; Dorothy Lewis et al. “Toward a Theory of the Genesis of Violence: A Follow-up Study of Delinquents,” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 28, no. 3 (1989): 431-436; Fagan and Wexler “Family Origins of Violent Delinquents”; DiLalla et al., “Aggression and Delinquency: Family and Environmental Factors.” 30) See “Stage Two, Community Experience Leading to Crime #3: The Growth of the Gang,” supra. 31) Elliott et al., The Dynamics of Deviant Behavior: A National Survey Progress Report. 32) For a full and interesting development of this point, see Robert Karen, Becoming Attached (New York: Time Warner Books, 1994). 33) Simons and Robertson, “The Impact of Parenting Factors, Deviant Peers, and Coping Style Upon Adolescent Drug Use,” See also Phyllis T. Howing, J.S. Wodarski, P.D. Kurtz, J.M. Gaudin, and E. Neligan Herbst, “Child Abuse and Delinquency: The Empirical and Theoretical Links,” Social Work (May 1990): 244-249, 245. 34) Ronald L. Simons and Joan F. Robertson, “The Impact of Parenting Factors, Deviant Peers, and Coping Style Upon Adolescent Drug Use,” Family Relations 38, (1989): 273-281. 35) See Ronald L. Simons et al., “The Nature of the Association Between Parental Rejection and Delinquent Behavior,” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 18, no. 3 (1989): 297-310. 36) Chris Knoester and Dana
L. Haynie, “Community Context, Social Integration into
Family, and Youth Violence,” Journal of Marriage and
Family 67, no. 3 (August 2005): 767-780. How Western
Career Women Create Motherless Villages At Home And
Abroad - 5/23/19 There are motherless villages in Indonesia where so many women have entered domestic service overseas that their whole communities of children grow up unmothered. Living with relatives, or old enough to take care of their own siblings, these children receive remittances from distant mothers. The women are hired as domestic help and, in doing the work for other families, they can’t afford to personally take care of their own. Mothers who work for wealthy families in countries far from their own are an international underclass of women without whom the world’s upper-class women who strive to have it all could not even attempt it. The only way wealthy mothers can unburden themselves of motherhood and pursue their economic value in the workforce is if there is an underclass of women who do the work of mothering, for which their families pay a high price. While leftist women in the West push for less family structure and more centralized child support, they disrupt not only their own families but also families around the world. International Disruption of Families The story on motherless villages, reported by Haryo Bangun Wirawan for the BBC, is captivating due to its contrast with the policies and practices of wealthy motherhood. Wirawan documents the kids and families left behind when mothers leave for work, and the painful reunions when mothers come home and their children barely recognize them. These mothers feel they have no choice but to set off for foreign work, and Indonesia is not the only country where this happens consistently. In China, women leave their children with their parents in rural areas and go to work in cities, sending money home and rarely returning. Mothers from Central and South America routinely venture north without their children to find work and send money home, in hopes of eventually sending for their children. I’ve seen the effects of this firsthand. A young man I once knew was new to the area. He and his younger brother had only joined his mother and father in the United States within the past two years. His English was spotty, but he was smart, and a strong learner. He longed for his grandmother in South America, who had raised him since he was five. When I spent time with him and his mother, it was so clear how much his mother loved him, adored him, and wanted to be close to him, yet how difficult it was to bridge the gulf between them. She reached out, her smile full and welcoming, but he was wary. He wanted to be close to her, but he was afraid to trust. She had not wanted to break up the family for the sake of wages, but she’d done what was best for them given the selection of bad options. It is understandable that these mothers sacrifice so much for their children, even their relationships with them, to provide for them. Mothers will do whatever it takes, even to their own personal detriment. That is what it is to mother. If going into domestic service overseas were the best chance for our children, it would be hard to look at them every day knowing there was something you could do to better their lives. Those Who Outsource Mothering Are Complicit But what about the women and families these international domestic workers serve? The women and families that take on these workers facilitate motherless villages. Mothers and families who also aspire for even more could not reach out for that high-hanging fruit without a steady influx of cheap labor. The stigma against working mothers that was prevalent in the 20th century has switched over to a prejudice against the moms who mother full-time. Many people think that full-time mothers are not fulfilling their economic potential. They are depicted as wine-swilling MILFs who resent their responsibilities and neglect housework. Social media posts from full-time mom friends often belabor the real work they do in service to home and family, just as they speak about how much they’d like to get out and take some classes or worry about their prospects of obtaining work after their children are grown. The prevalence of divorce, its uncertainty within the marriage promise, helps to fuel the insecurity of a woman’s role in the home. If a woman can’t trust that her work within the home will be valued in the marketplace into which she may again find herself, it becomes that much harder to dedicate herself fully to family and home. Lately, there has been a push for government-subsidized child care options in the United States. While women advocate for others to pay for their child care so they can attend to their economic potential, other mothers fill the gaps, leaving their own children in the care of still someone else. As a working mom myself, and the child of a mom who worked, I am in favor of women pursuing their potential, but it’s not acceptable to do so on the backs of mothers who can’t make any other choice. Liberation Can’t Mean Oppressing Others This effort to liberate women to pursue their economic value is in the name of equality. But women don’t end up liberated; they end up more like international oppressors. One group of women is liberated at the expense of another. African-American women have spoken out about this trend for decades, since they have historically taken on the role of mothering for many American families, and the evidence of their accuracy is splashed all over American film, television, fiction, and of course, backed up in history. Now, those same jobs are being outsourced internationally. These women are not only taking care of children as nannies, but they’re also being employed as surrogates. With western women being liberated from motherhood from the womb through high school graduation, one wonders why they’d even want to engage in the practice at all. And many of them don’t. Birth rates are down, abortion is shouted as a social good, and women have fully embraced their role as hard-working cogs in the capitalist machine. American women protest in costumes from “The Handmaid’s Tale” because abortion rights are being curtailed by voters, but the real handmaids are those in the developing world bearing and then raising the children Western women won’t. In the advocacy for more freedom for women to enter the workforce without worry for their children, the trend of women not raising their own children trickles down globally. If American women want equality, it
must be global equality. We can’t gain our freedom by
exploiting those who are willing to trade it for their
children’s future. A better answer than increasing
outsourced child care is to make it more possible for women
to mother their own children. Women should stop demanding
liberation from motherhood, and everyone should acknowledge
motherhood’s importance to society. 21 Compelling
Motherless Children Statistics - 3/20/17 Almost 30% of custodial fathers receive some form of a support award by the court system when a divorce occurs. In comparison, almost 80% of custodial mothers receive a support order. What does this mean for motherless children? They are either forced to live most of their day without their father because he is earning an income or they are forced by society to live without certain needs or wants simply because a majority of society doesn’t feel the need to enforce support laws equally. Four Fast Facts You Need to Know Right Now
Takeaway: Homes without moms have some distinct challenges that lie outside of how much money is earned. Although 24% of motherless homes in the United States are below the poverty line, the challenge of a father becoming a nurturing parent is ever present. When you add in the fact that there is a 41% chance of a live-in girlfriend or other partner often having the authority to also raise the children, even without being officially part of the family, there are unique stressors that are placed on motherless children today. Why Are There Motherless Children Today?
Takeaway: Although there will always be tragedies that take mothers away from their families, there is a certain level of decline occurring in homes with two parents. With a drop of 25% in the last four decades, changes in society have happened that have made families drift apart from each other in some way. Whether the statistics are skewed because more fathers are seeking custody of their children or there is a shift in attitudes toward the family in general, the bottom line is this: when there isn’t a mother in the home, there is less overall income, more poverty-related issues, and less stability for the children. What Increases the Chance?
Takeaway: Motherless homes happen for a variety of reasons around the world, but it seems to be happening in a much more prevalent way today. This is especially so for minority populations and this puts the children at a very high risk of developing low levels of self esteem. If a mother chooses to leave, then the natural thought of the child is that the mother doesn’t love them. This creates confusion and then guilt because the children believe it is their fault that their mother has left. What Happens in Motherless Homes?
Takeaway: Fathers are encouraged to
step up and become mentors to children in fatherless homes,
but there isn’t an equal push for mothers to do the
same thing. Why is this? Because of the social stigmas that
would be brought to light if society was made aware of the
issues that motherless children face? There are too many
risks associated with motherless children, from an inferior
quality of life to a continuation of the cycle of abuse, to
allow these issues to continue. Children benefit from having
a mother in the home and although this can’t be had
sometimes because of tragedy, the fact remains that a strong
mother figure does a child a lot of good. Fatherless
and Motherless Homes - 5/16/17 Did you know that Title IV-D (Section 458) of the Social Security Act authorizes the federal government to make “incentive payments” to all 50 states for the collection of child and spousal support payments, paternity establishment, and administration costs? Under 50/50 shared parenting, there would be less money to collect from either parent for the states. Coincidentally, most court cases award sole custody to one parent. Splitting families while splitting profits!!! It can be equally as traumatic for a child to live in a home without a mother or father. Some children who grow up in motherless homes may develop severe trust issues with loved ones and potential love interests. They may develop anxiety, depression, and live well below the poverty line without coming from a household with two working parents who bring in sufficient levels of income to pay the day-to-day bills. Young girls who grow up in homes without mothers may be the most at risk for developing behavioral, addiction, and relationship problems partly since children tend to emulate or mirror the parent of the same gender while growing up. This blog is meant to be helpful to any parent or guardian who is doing their best to raise a child or children while in the midst of a severe relationship and/or legal dispute conflict. It is not meant to favor or disfavor one gender or family member class, whether it be the mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, cousin, or any siblings. In years past, judges typically awarded sole custody to the mother. In recent years, the tides have been turning so to speak in that more fathers are being assigned sole custody. While the courts do not seem to represent the “best interests” of the children or the adult parties involved in these legal disputes, the primary purpose of this blog is to attempt to reduce the conflicts and reconnect the broken family bonds so that the healing can improve for all parties involved. We will cover many wide-ranging topics that may not at first seem relevant to relationship conflict situations, but we can assure you that they will partly or completely tie together by the time that you finish this blog. There will be some content that has never been covered before by any other authors, and that is another reason why we focus more on the potential root causes, cures, and solutions more so than the obstacles that stand in families’ ways. There are more published statistics on fatherless home data than for motherless home data. It can be equally as traumatizing for a child to not have a mother in their home as it can be without a father. Regardless, the statistics for children who don’t have access to both parents (i.e., homeless children or children who repeatedly move to multiple foster homes) are probably much worse, sadly. Let’s take a closer look at some of the numbers related to children from fatherless households:
Statistically, a child from a fatherless home has exponentially higher risks associated with the following issues:
(*Source: U.S. Justice
Department, etc.) Child’s
Mental Development With time, the child begins to develop all of the following:
A child’s biological makeup creates part of who they are, but their environment aids in creating the other part of themselves. The influence or absence of a mother can greatly affect a child’s mental health development. Mental Health when Motherless An individual’s mental health may be affected at any age or circumstance due to the lack of a mother. Different situations and causes, as listed below, can provoke different effects… Absentee motherAn absentee mother is either a woman who is present but neglects to care for her child or a person who leaves their child entirely How to Help Depending on your specific situation, here are some tips and tricks to help make it through! Remember that you are never alone. There are individual and group therapies available Resources: youaremom.com/children/absent-mother-affects-children/ Source: www.claritychi.com/the-effects-of-being-motherless/ What
Prevents Shared Custody? - 7/28/19 Shared custody, more commonly called joint custody, is when both parents hold custody rights to care for their children. There are two types of custody rights you might share as a parent: physical custody and legal custody. Physical custody establishes who your child lives with and legal custody establishes who has the right to make legal decisions on behalf of your child. If you have joint physical custody, you share the lodging and care of your child with his or her other parent according to a parenting schedule. If you have joint legal custody, both you and your child’s other parent share the responsibility of making major life decisions for your minor child about things such as school, medical care, and religion. It is common for one parent to have sole physical custody, and the other parent to have visitation rights, and both parents share legal custody rights. It is not common for there to be shared physical custody, but only one parent granted legal custody right Reasons for Not Gaining Primary Physical Custody Most courts want to award both parents joint physical and legal custody, as it is in the child’s best interests to have a relationship and spend time with both parents. However, the court will award sole physical custody to a single parent if it is the best for the child. If one parent has a history of abuse or neglect that would potentially expose the child to physical or psychological harm, it might prevent that parent from gaining shared physical custody. Also, if one parent has substance abuse or mental health issues that would prevent the parent from providing proper care for the child, shared physical custody might be denied. While you may think that getting sole physical custody in these situations will be easy, don’t be surprised if it becomes a long and challenging process. Even if you are granted sole physical custody, the court will still work diligently to bring the other parent back into your child’s life by giving them visitation rights, supervised if necessary, or ordering mediation and counseling. Why? Most psychological experts and law professionals prefer joint custody as it results in a much better outcome for the child. Other reasons a parent might not gain shared physical custody include:
Reasons for Not Gaining Sole Legal Custody The situations that could prevent a parent from gaining shared legal custody are similar to the situations that could prevent them from gaining shared physical custody.
The most important aspect of joint custody to understand is that any custody agreement can be changed at any time if one parent petitions the court and can show a change of circumstance. Custody is a complex subject, and the
laws vary by state and jurisdiction. If you have questions
about custody, we recommend that you contact an experienced
family law attorney in your area to learn more. Joint
custody - Wikipedia Joint custody is a form of child custody pursuant to which custody rights are awarded to both parents. Joint custody may refer to joint physical custody, joint legal custody, or both combined. In joint legal custody, both parents of a child share major decision making regarding for example education, medical care and religious upbringing. In joint physical custody, also called shared parenting or shared residency, the child spends equal or close to equal amount of time with both parents. After a divorce or separation, parents may have joint physical custody as well as joint legal custody of their children, or commonly, they may have joint legal custody while one parent has sole physical custody, or rarely, they may have joint physical custody while one parent have sole legal custody.[1][2][3] The opposite of joint physical custody is sole custody, where the child primarily lives with one parent while the other parent may have visitation rights to regularly see his or her child. Joint physical custody is different from split custody, where some siblings live with one parent while other siblings live with the other parent. History In England, prior to the 19th century, common law considered children to be the property of their father.[4][5] However, the economic and social changes that occurred during the 19th century led to a shift in ideas about the dynamics of the family.[4] Industrialization separated the home and the workplace, keeping fathers away from their children in order to earn wages and provide for their family.[4] Conversely, mothers were expected to stay in the home and care for the household and the children.[4] Important social changes such as women's suffrage and child development theories allowed for ideas surrounding the importance of maternal care.[4] Joint legal custody In joint legal custody, both parents share decision-making rights with regard to matters that may have a significant impact on their children's lives, such as where a child should attend school, the choice of a primary care physician or therapist for the child, and medical treatments.[6] Both parents also have the ability right access to their children's records, such as educational records, health records, and other records.[7] Under sole physical custody arrangements, joint legal custody has been found to have beneficial effects on children compared to sole legal custody.[8] Joint physical custody/Shared parenting In joint physical custody, the child lives an equal amount of time with both parents or for considerable amount of time with each parent.[9] Typically, the family court issues a parenting schedule that defines the time that the child will spend with each parent.[10] The percentage of joint physical versus sole physical custody varies between countries. In a comparative survey from 2005/06, covering children ages 11 to 15, it was highest in Sweden with 17% and lowest in Turkey and the Ukraine with only 1%.[11] Studies suggest that joint custody may significantly contribute to a child's wellbeing, with lower rates of mental health issues and substance abuse, better school performance, better physical health and better family relationships as compared to children in households where one parent has sole physical custody.[12] On the whole, studies show that children experience better outcomes in joint custody arrangements and where they have good access to both parents.[13] While not all studies of joint custody have resulted in similar findings, none have found that harm results from joint custody.[12] United States In the United States, joint legal custody is common while joint physical custody is rare.[18] According to a 2005/06 survey, about 5 percent of American children ages 11 to 15 lived in a joint physical custody arrangement versus sole physical custody.[11] Kentucky is the only state with a legal rebuttable presumption in favor of joint physical custody.[19][20] References 1. "Joint Custody Definition". Duhaime's Law Dictionary. 2. See, e.g., "Georgia Code Title 19. Domestic Relations § 19-9-6". Findlaw. Thomson Reuters. Retrieved 29 November 2017. 3. Larson, Aaron (11 October 2016). "What is Child Custody". ExpertLaw. Retrieved 2 October 2017. 4. Jay Folberg (23 August 1991). Joint Custody and Shared Parenting. Guilford Press. pp. 4–5. ISBN 978-0-89862-481-6. Retrieved 18 October 2011. 5. Margorie Louise Engel; Diana Delhi Gould (1 January 1992). Divorce Decisions Workbook: A Planning and Action Guide to the Practical Side of Divorce. McGraw-Hill Professional. pp. 107–108. ISBN 978-0-07-019571-4. Retrieved 19 October 2011. 6. See, e.g., "Basics of Custody & Visitation Orders". California Courts. Retrieved 2 October 2017. 7. Robert E. Emery (1999). Marriage, Divorce, and Children's Adjustment. SAGE. pp. 79–124. ISBN 978-0-7619-0252-2. Retrieved 2 November 2011. 8. Gunnoe ML, Braver SL. The effects of joint legal custody on mothers, fathers, and children, controlling for factors that predispose a sole maternal vs. joint legal award. Law and Human Behavior, 2001, 25:25–43. 9. Kaplan PMBR (7 July 2009). Kaplan PMBR FINALS: Family Law: Core Concepts and Key Questions. Kaplan Publishing. pp. 22–23. ISBN 978-1-60714-098-6. Retrieved 15 October 2011. 10. See, e.g., Oregon State Legislature (1997). "ORS 107.102 Parenting plan". Retrieved 27 September 2011. 11. Bjarnason T, Arnarsson AA. Joint Physical Custody and Communication with Parents: A Cross-National Study of Children in 36 Western Countries, Journal of Comparative Family Studies, 2011, 42:871-890. 12. Braver, Sanford L.; Lamb, Michael E. (10 April 2018). "Shared Parenting After Parental Separation: The Views of 12 Experts". Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 59 (5): 372–387. doi:10.1080/10502556.2018.1454195. 13. Baude, Amandine; Pearson, Jessica; Drapeau, Sylvie (27 June 2016). "Child Adjustment in Joint Physical Custody Versus Sole Custody: A Meta-Analytic Review". Journal of Divorce & Remarriage. 57 (5): 338–360. doi:10.1080/10502556.2016.1185203. S2CID 147782279. 14. "As Japan moves toward recognizing joint custody, a father nourishes hope for reunion". Japan Subculture Research Center. 8 August 2013. Retrieved 2 October 2017. 15. Matsutani, Minoru (10 October 2009). "Custody laws force parents to extremes". The Japan Times. Retrieved 2 October 2017. 16. Kikuchi, Daisuke (5 May 2017). "Parental abduction victims hold rally to push for joint custody rights". The Japan Times. Retrieved 2 October 2017. 17. Lendoiro, Gema (28 February 2015). "Todo lo que debes saber sobre la custodia compartida" [Everything you should know about joint custody] (in Spanish). Diario ABC. 18. Sanford L. Braver and Michael E. Lamb, Shared Parenting After Parental Separation: The Views of 12 Experts, Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, April 2018 19. Jason Petrie, Kentucky House Bill 528, LegiScan, 2018. 20. Shared parenting law
long overdue, The Daily Independent, August 28, 2018. Single Fathers,
Single Mothers, and Child Custody Statistics In just over 51% of custody decisions, both parents agree that the mother should become the custodial parent. In roughly 29% of custody decisions, this is made without any assistance from the court or from a mediator. 11% are determined with the assistance of a mediator, and 5% are determined following a custody evaluation. By comparison, only 4% of custody cases require going to trial before primary custody is decided. Overall, 91% of custody decisions do not require the family court to decide. Parenting Time – Married Parents & Divorced Married fathers spend roughly 6.5 hours per week conducting primary parenting duties such as taking children to appointments, helping with homework, cooking, reading bedtime stories, etc. Conversely, married mothers spend roughly 13 hours per week on their parental responsibilities. Conversely, divorced fathers spend far less time on these tasks. Roughly 22% of fathers see their children once a week. A further 29% see their children less than four times per month. Most concerning is that 27% have absolutely no contact with their children at all and spend no time parenting their children. Number of Single Fathers on the Rise Even though the number of households headed by single fathers is still far less than single mothers, the rate is increasing. In 2011, the number of households headed by a single father in the United States was 8%. 55 years ago, there were only 300,000. In 2011, that number had risen 900% to 2.6 million. This means that roughly 25% of households are now being headed by single fathers. For comparison, the rate of single mother households recorded in 2011 was 8.6 million. This was a 400% increase from 1.9 million in 1960. Single Parents & Cohabitation Single fathers are more likely to live with a cohabitating partner. On average, 41% of single fathers have a significant other within the home as opposed to just 16% for single mothers. This means that in many cases, the father’s partner often shares in many of the parenting responsibilities. Single Parents Education & Income
These statistics show a clear impact on the median household income of both single fathers and single mothers. They also show what many custody lawyers are very familiar with; that many single mothers have paused their educational careers in order to raise their families. This has a significant impact on their ability to provide for, and care for their children should they get divorced. In 2011, the Pew Research Center indicated that the median household income for single fathers was $40,000. For single mothers, that number was just $26,000. Moreover, the study showed that two-parent households had a median adjusted household income of $70,000. Child Support & Custody Nationally, 2013 data from the US Census Bureau indicates there are 14.4 million custodial parents in the United States. Of these, 48.6% have agreed to either a legal or informal child support agreement. 88% of these agreements were established via the court or other government entity. Only 11% were established between the divorcing parents. As part of their data, the US Census Bureau $37.9 billion dollars of child support was owed to custodial parents in 2011. The average amount owed was $6,050. Of this amount, only 62.3%, or $3,770 was received per year, per child. This mean that custodial parents were receiving on average $311 per month, per child. Similar studies showed that in 2012,
53.4% of custodial mothers were awarded child support, and
28.8% of custodial fathers were awarded child support. Divorce
For Men: Why Do Women Get Child Custody More Often? There was once a presumption that children should always stay with their mother following a divorce. Most states no longer honor that presumption, however. (In fact, some states have passed laws stating that there is no custody preference for women over men.) Despite this change, mothers are still more likely to get custody when parents divorce. State laws vary as to what courts must consider in determining custody arrangements, but the general standard used today is that the custody award must be in the "best interests of the child." And, the factors court consider in discerning where those best interests lie are more likely to favor mothers, as most marriages are structured. If they can put rancor aside, most parents would agree that their child's best interests should prevail. But, if you are a divorcing dad, you should know some of the factors courts commonly consider in making this determination -- and what steps you can take to show your parenting skills. Whether you are trying to get joint physical custody, sole custody, or simply the most generous visitation with your child possible, you'll need to know what the judge will look at when deciding custody issues. Who Is the Primary Caregiver? One factor in determining custody is which parent has been the primary caregiver for the child. Some states actually use the term "primary caregiver"; others refer to the parent who is best able to meet the child's needs, who is most willing to accept parental responsibilities, or who has been caring for the child. Regardless of the terms used, the primary caregiver standard tries to determine which parent has been responsible for meeting most of the child's daily needs, such as feeding, bathing, playing, waking and putting to bed, making doctor appointments, arranging for child care, and so on. In some families, these tasks are truly shared between the parents. And of course, some stay-at-home dads bear most of the responsibility for their children. However, even though more women work full time now than in the past, women are much more likely to take on the primary caregiver roles. No matter how much or how little involvement you have had in handling these daily tasks so far, you should start taking on as many of these daily tasks as make sense for you, your spouse, and your child. After all, you will have to start handling all of these activities after you divorce, at least when your child is with you. And, the court will look at your history of performing these tasks in determining custody. Parent-Child Bond Another factor courts use in making custody determination is the relationship between parent and child. The younger the child, the more likely it is that the bond between the mother and child is greater than the bond between the father and child. This is not a reflection on the father as much as it is a reflection on typical parenting roles when children are young. A mother is typically the one to feed the child from birth through the toddler years and that closeness allows for a different kind of bond than a father might have with a child. Mothers are more likely to take more time off work or stay home entirely with their child than fathers. As a result, young children tend to look to their moms first for basic daily needs and emotional support. The more involved a father can be with his infant and young child, the closer the bond will be. Especially if you want joint custody, you will need to learn how to provide the support and care your young child needs. Relationship With the Other Parent In many states, the law presumes that children will be best served by having a meaningful relationship with both parents. One factor many courts consider in determining custody is therefore whether one parent is more likely to foster a healthy relationship between the children and their other parent. A parent who has tried to poison the child's relationship with the other parent or refused to allow contact with the other parent won't fare well here, unless there's a good reason (such as child abuse or domestic violence). You can help your custody and visitation chances by staying civil and respectful towards your spouse, especially in front of your children. Experts tell us that children of divorce fare much better if their parents don't use them as pawns in an ongoing battle, but instead allow the children to maintain a positive, healthy relationship with both parents. It's best for your children, and it will be best for you in court. Getting Legal Help A father wishing to get joint or primary custody of his child following a divorce action should consult an experienced family law attorney. An attorney can explain the factors the court will consider in determining custody and help you try to prove that you would be the better (or an equally good) custodial parent. Laws differ from state to state, and conventions differ from judge to judge. An experienced local attorney will know how your court and your judge typically decide these issues, and help you put on the strongest possible case for custody. A lawyer can also help you negotiate a custody arrangement with your spouse. Editor's note: Judges do not
favor holding a second hearing if you don't like their
decision on the first one. Many men rebell at the cost of a
good, local, divorce lawyer and settle on a general lawyer
to save money. In the long run, you'll knist kujeky save
money spending it up front on the best lawyer possible. Miscellaneous notes: Even
though the number of households headed by single fathers is
still far less than single mothers, the rate is increasing.
In 1960, the number of households headed by a single father
in the U.S. was 8%. In 2011 that grew to 25% (2.6 million
households.) For comparison, the rate of single mother
households recorded in 2011 was 8.6 million from 1.9 million
in 1960. In 2013, 48.6% have agreed to either a legal or
informal child support agreement. 88% of these agreements
were established via a court or other government entity.
Only 11% were established between the divorcing parents. In
2012, 53.4% of custodial mothers were awarded child support
while 28.6% of custodial fathers were awarded child
support. Facts Regarding
Childcare growing up in households withour a biological
father. - 9/24/21 Roughly 25% of the children in America grow up without their biological father in the home, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. This has become so common to hear that many people don’t think much of it. They shrug their shoulders and go on about their business, not realizing the devastating impact that this statistic is having on the country. Dads’ Resource Center has completed an analysis of the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth 1997 to put a spotlight on how this problem is impacting children and society as a whole. “Unfortunately, many judges, lawyers, guardian ad litems, state agencies such as children and youth, other county and state agencies, and the welfare system are culpable in creating or at least exasperating this very serious problem,” says Dads’ Resource Center founder Dr. Joel N. Myers. “Whatever their intentions may be, they play big roles in maintaining a system that discourages, inhibits or flat out denies children’s access to their fathers. This must stop now.” The Dads’ Resource Center evaluated the most recent data available from the NYSY97 for outcomes for children from households with both biological parents compared to those without a biological father in the home. In every metric that they looked at, children who were raised in a home without their biological father struggled much more in life than those who were raised in a home with both parents. This was the case regardless of race or gender. The analysis shows that children who grow up in a household without their biological father are:
The Dads’ Resource Center analysis of the NLSY97 follows up a series of other studies that show how the courts and human services systems impede father family involvement. These include studies on the determination of custody time ordered by courts in contested custody cases, the ratio of male to female staff in offices of children and youth and the impact of PFAs on children’s access to their parents. “It is unacceptable when dads that desperately want to fulfill their sacred responsibility as a father are denied the ability to do so,” said Myers. “As human beings, as a society, as a culture, as governmental agencies, we have an obligation to get to work and begin to reverse the present destructive situation, which has gone on for far too long.” Dads’ Resource Center has been established to benefit children of separated or divorced parents by advocating the importance of fathers having adequate opportunities to fulfill their role of fatherhood. The group helps get information regarding the issues out to the public and work with fathers to help make improvements. To get more information, Please contact us info@dadsrc.org The Dads’ Resource Center is committed to providing education, resources and advocacy for dads who are separated or divorced and are determined to uphold their sacred responsibility as fathers. The Dads’ Resource Center was founded by Dr. Joel N. Myers, who is the founder and CEO of AccuWeather. Please click here for more information Sources: U.S. Census Bureau, National Single Parent Day. https://www.census.gov/newsroom/stories/single-parent-day.html S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, NLSY97. https://www.bls.gov/nls/nlsy97.htm Dads’ Resource Center,
National Longitudinal Survey of Youth Analysis.
https://dadsrc.org/national-longitudinal-survey-of-youth/ The
Epidemic of Fatherless Households in America at All-Time
High - 2/18/22 Terence P. Jeffrey, the editor in chief of CNSNews.com, recently explained how the traditional two-parent households were not only a cornerstone to American society and even withstood global hardships like World War II. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in 1946—shortly after WWII—only 3.8% of babies were born to unmarried mothers. Jeffrey writes: “The traditional family led by a mother and father was a foundational fact of American culture.” However, the number of fatherless households would rise rapidly from 1969 to 2008, going from 10% to over 40%. According to the CDC, that number amounts to 20,642,649 babies (40.36%) born to unmarried mothers. As a result, families often rely on the government for support. Contemporary Christian artist Michael W. Smith recently encouraged Christians to stand up for fatherless families. “We need a lot of surrogate dads. We have thousands of young men who need mentors, and I don’t think that’s the government’s job. I think it’s the Church’s job to mentor,” Smith told The Christian Post. “It’s a crisis that we need to wake up to, realize that we’ve got to be a part of the solution, and we have the tools to be a solution and help. Let the Church rise up, and I’m pointing the finger right at me too,” Smith added. Movieguide® previously also reported on the epidemic of fatherless homes in America: Marripedia notes, children in fatherless homes “are more likely to be abused, have emotional problems, engage in questionable behavior, struggle academically, and become delinquent.” A portion of the Movieguide® review reads: "SHOW ME THE FATHER is a wonderful, inspiring documentary. It tells six emotionally powerful stories about fatherhood. Four stories involve two football coaches who mentor four young men from broken families to become better men and better fathers. Another story tells how God performs a miracle in helping a man and his wife find the perfect daughter to adopt. A sixth story shows how an older man overcomes a serious bout with depression to bless his own three sons. The Number of
Children Being Raised by Gay or Lesbian Parents A
Father’s Impact on Child Development Here are 10 important facts that were collected during their research: 10 Facts About Father Engagement
Overall, the impact that fathers and father figures can make is substantial. Just as there are many positive aspects to father involvement, the effects of father absence can be detrimental as well. Father Absence According to the 2007 UNICEF report on the well-being of children in economically advanced nations, children in the U.S., Canada and the U.K. rank extremely low in regard to social and emotional well-being in particular. Many theories have been explored to explain the poor state of our nation’s’ children. However, a factor that has been largely ignored, particularly among child and family policymakers, is the prevalence and devastating effects of father absence in children’s lives. For starters, studies repeatedly show that children without fathers positively present in the home suffer greatly. Even before a child is born, their father’s attitudes regarding the pregnancy, behaviors during the prenatal period, and the relationship between their father and mother may indirectly influence risk for adverse birth outcomes. In early childhood, studies show that school-aged children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie. Overall, they were far more likely to exhibit prosocial behavior. In adolescence, the implications of fatherless homes are incredible, as these children are more likely to experience the effects of poverty. Former president George W. Bush even addressed the issue while in office, stating, “Over the past four decades, fatherlessness has emerged as one of our greatest social problems. We know that children who grow up with absent-fathers can suffer lasting damage. They are more likely to end up in poverty or drop out of school, become addicted to drugs, have a child out of wedlock, or end up in prison. Fatherlessness is not the only cause of these things, but our nation must recognize it is an important factor.” Narratively speaking, many individuals can attest to the fact that the lasting impact of a father in child’s life cannot be denied. Many would admit that they have struggled with feelings of abandonment and low self-esteem, due to the lack of a father’s love in their lives. Some have turned to drugs, alcohol, risky sexual activities, unhealthy relationships, or other destructive behaviors to numb the pains of fatherlessness. Although the absence of their father is not an isolated risk factor, it definitely can take a toll on the development of children. This is important to take note of, as many would argue that one parental role is more significant than the other. That is simply not true. According to Psychology Today, researchers have found these narratives to be true. The results of father absence on children are nothing short of disastrous, along a number of dimensions
Tips for dads Dads! It is vital that you make every effort to become actively involved in your child’s life – whether you live in the same home as them or not. Here are some great ways to create healthy, positive engagement with your children (adapted from the Modern Dad Dilemma):
Here at Children’s
Bureau, we hope that you
recognize your tremendous value as fathers! You can truly
make a difference in the lives of your children, and the
benefits will be long-lasting! Check out our
Dads
Matter program which
provides fathers and father figures with vital tools,
resources and support to raise their children. Dads, we
appreciate you more than you know! Fatherlessness
and Its Effects on American Society - 2/15/22 Americans are united in the belief that strong families are a net positive for society. For example, according to a Rasmussen poll of 1,200 registered voters conducted on January 20-21, 2022, 84 percent of those polled believe a strong family is foundational to a strong America and that parents should bear the primary responsibility for raising children. Only 11 percent say raising children is a community responsibility. Of those polled, 67 percent believe that the decline of the family is harmful to American growth and prosperity, and 65 percent think that children who grow up fatherless are at a significant disadvantage in life. Unfortunately, decades of political mismanagement—no matter how well the initial intentions—have exacerbated the problem. AFPI believes that we must judge all policies by results rather than intentions. There is nothing “compassionate” about leaving entire communities mired in vicious cycles of poverty perpetuated by outdated and counterproductive government programs. The effects of broken families have been staggering. The United State has the highest rate of children living in single parent households of any nation in the world. At a rate of 23% of children living with one parent and no other adults, the United States stands over three times the world average of 7% of children raised by one parent. Other nations of note inlude China at 3%, India at 4% and Nigeria at 8%. Across America, there are approximately 18.3 million children who live without a father in the home, comprising about 1 in 4 US children (Father Absence Statistics). The United States has the highest rate of children living in single-parent households of any nation in the world (PEW, Kramer, 2021). About 80 percent of single-parent homes are led by single mothers (Single Mother Statistics, 2021). At a rate of 23 percent of children living with one parent and no other adults, the United States stands over three times the world average of 7 percent of children raised by one parent. For reference, the number stands at 3 percent for China and 4 percent for India. (PEW, Kramer, 2021). Of all births in the US today, about 41 percent of children are born to unwed mothers. For women under the age of 30, the demographic that bears two-thirds of children in general, the out of wedlock rate increases to 53 percent (Coulombe, 2015). While many unmarried women cohabitate with a partner at the time of giving birth, these relationships fail at twice the rate of marriages. Data suggests that more kids are likely growing up with a television in their bedroom than with both biological parents in the home (Coulombe, 2015). The average school-age boy only spends about 30 minutes per week in oone-on-one conversations with his father. For comparison, the same boy on avereage wll spend about 44 hours per week watching television, playing video games and surfing the internet. Even for children with a father present in the home, the average school-age boy only spends about 30 minutes per week in one-on-one conversations with his father. For comparison, the same boy, on average, will spend about 44 hours per week watching television, playing video games, and surfing the internet (Coulombe, 2015) Children from fatherless homes fare far worse in metrics of overall well-being and mental and behavioral health. These children are often burdened with lower self-esteem than other children, and they do not understand why their father abandoned them (Brown). This leads to a number of emotional problems like anxiety, social withdrawal, and depression, and it also leads to an increased risk of suicide and other forms of self-harm (Brown). Overall, children from single-parent families are twice as likely to suffer from mental health problems as those living with married parents (Batty, 2006). Research also suggests that high-risk children in single-parent homes have nearly five times greater a chance of developing mood disorders than those in dual-parent households, even when controlling for household income, age, and depression status of parents (Teel, 2016). This research suggests that fatherlessness is a significant contributor to mental health issues in children. In light of these statistics, it is no surprise that 90% of all homeless and runaway children, 63% of teen suicides, and 85% of childrenand teens with behavioral disorders come from Fatherless Homes. In light of these statistics, it is no surprise that 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children (Research and Statistics), 63 percent of teen suicides, and 85 percent of children and teens with behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Martinez, 2011). Similarly, fatherless families are 25 percent more likely to raise children in poverty (U.S. Census Bureau, 2020). Children without fathers are also 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, and 71 percent of all children who abuse substances come from fatherless homes (National Center for Fathering). Conversely, “at-risk youth” (defined as “a child who is less likely to transition successfully into adulthood”) with a mentor in their lives are 46 percent less likely to use drugs and 81 percent more likely to participate in sports or other forms of extracurricular activities (No Longer Fatherless). https://fathers.com/wp39/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/fatherlessInfographic.pdf Unsurprisingly, those without a father in the home fare far worse in educational achievement than their two-parent counterparts. Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of high school than children with both parents at home (U.S. Census Bureau, 2021). The fatherless are also 40% more likely to repeat a class and 70% more likely to drop out of school. The fatherless are also 40 percent more likely to repeat a class and 70 percent more likely to drop out of school (Ibid). Likewise, “at-risk youth” who have a mentor are 55 percent more likely to enroll in college than those without a mentor in their lives activities (No Longer Fatherless). Fatherlessness also has a link to abortion rates. Perhaps counterintuitively, data shows that upon legalization of abortion, the fatherlessness rate in a country rises dramatically. For example, within years after abortion was legalized in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom, the percentage of children living with a single mother doubled (Voice for the Voiceless). In the same vein, one out of every three pregnancies in a fatherless home end in abortion. (Beckwith, 2019). Fatherlessness likewise has a direct link to teen pregnancy and sexual activity (Schwarzwalder). Roughly 70 percent of teenage pregnancies come from women raised in fatherless homes, and these same women have significantly higher abortion rates than women raised by both a father and a mother (Voice for the Voiceless) Criminal activity and fatherlessness are closely related as well. Of all the youths in state-operated institutions, roughly 70 percent come from fatherless homes, and 85 percent of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes (Rochester Area Fatherhood Network). Of all the youths in state-operated institutions, roughly 70% come from fatherless homes and 85% of al youthin prison come from fatherless homes. On the whole, fatherless kids are 20 times more likely to be inncarccerated and 11 times more likely to exhibit violent behvior than childre from two parent households. On the whole, fatherless kids are 20 times more likely to be incarcerated and 11 times more likely to exhibit violent behavior than children from two-parent households (Voice for the Voiceless). Another unfortunate reality is that America’s prisons are full of fathers separated from their children. Of America’s roughly 2 million prisoners, over 800,000 are parents—and 92 percent of those are fathers. This leads to a total of just over 1.7 million children with a parent in prison, or 2.3 percent of the total US resident population below the age of 18 (Fatherhood.gov). In 2016, the average age of a minor child with parents in federal prison was 10 years old, and 9 years old for minors with a parent in state prison (Department of Justice, 2021). The unfortunate reality is that single parenthood does not only affect the health and well-being of the children—it affects the single parents as well. Both lone fathers and lone mothers have higher rates of mood disorders and substance use disorders than married parents, and single mothers fare about twice as poorly as single fathers in this regard. Both lone fathers and lone mothers are at far greater risk of psychiatric disorders than married couples (Wade, 2011). Of course, there is no “one size fits all” solution to the fatherlessness crisis in America today. However, through targeted legislative priorities, progress can be made in reversing the disincentives currently endemic throughout national policy. For example, officials can promote healthy marriage and responsible fatherhood through legislation. New regulations on marriage tax brackets can help stabilize lower-income families by financially incentivizing two-parent households, and we can address the education gaps in the country with real solutions like school choice. Officials can support an all-out pro-fatherhood messaging campaign to amplify the importance of fatherhood across the Nation. Amplification from athletes, celebrities, musicians, actors, and even political leaders can push the importance of fatherhood to the forefront of public consciousness. In this way, fatherhood and its importance can become a unifying issue for all swaths of the country. Americans believe that it is the community’s responsibility, more so than the government, to take care of fatherless children. Local churches and faith-based organizations can be of assistance in the entire fatherhood space. Churches are well situated to lead in this space, as they have the personnel and mentorship potential to guide fathers to their highest potential, provide community-based resources, and mentor those without fathers. In the same manner, mentorship programs, police athletic leagues, civic service and engagement opportunities, and family resource programs can help equip fathers and families to form stable families. To address this crisis, we must first speak openly about the problem of fatherless children. Then, we must focus on fixing it, by promoting strong families, confronting cultural malaise, and sharing the joys of fatherhood. It is a tall task but a worthwhile one. AFPI believes it is time for a new vision for American families. The costs of broken homes and fatherlessness have plagued society, and today we are reaping the effects. For America’s families, the best is yet to come. WORKS CITED Batty, David.
“Single-Parent
Families Double Likelihood of Child Mental
Illness.” The
Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 21 Feb. 2006. Data
on Single Parent vs. Dual Parent Households -
10/30/14 Economic Differences Pew Research Center, an American think tank organization specializing in social and demographic trends, revealed that in 2011 all households with children reported an average yearly income of $57,100. Single mothers who were divorced, separated or widowed earned an average yearly income of $29,000. The median family income for single mothers who had never been married in 2011 was $17,400, just slightly above poverty level. These statistics show that single parents are more susceptible to financial hardship than families with two parents contributing an income. Other statistics from the Witherspoon Institute, a conservative think tank in Princeton, New Jersey, demonstrate that 66 percent of children from single-parent households live below the poverty level and nearly 50 percent of adults who receive welfare began the program after becoming a single parent. Only about 10 percent of children raised in a two-parent family live below the poverty level. Social, Cognitive and Psychological Implications Studies conducted by Dr. Paul Amato, Professor of Family Sociology and Demography at Pennsylvania State University show that children who grow up with both biological parents in the same household are less likely to experience a variety of cognitive, emotional and social problems. Dual-parent households often maintain higher standards of living, therefore providing more effective parenting skills with less stressful life circumstances. Examining potential advantages of a single-parent household is also beneficial. Leaving a relationship that exposes your child to marital conflict is a positive change because your child will no longer be entangled in parental discord at home. The focus of homelife shifts to the parent-child relationship and daily activities can be more structured around the child. Children of single parents are likely to develop skills of independence, responsibility and self-sufficiency at an early age. Long-Term Effects Research conducted by Sara McLanahan, Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison posits specific long-term outcomes for children of single-parent households. Her studies reflect that a high percentage of single mothers never graduate from high school and that this increases the chances of their children not graduating from high school by 10 percent. Exposure to single parenthood as a child also raises the probability of next generation single parenthood by approximately 120 percent. McLanahan's research testifies that daughters of single parents are 30 to 53 percent more likely to marry as teenagers, 75 to 111 percent more likely to give birth while teenagers and are more likely to experience marital severance and have babies out of wedlock. These statistics may reflect the result of single-parenting disadvantages such as less supervisory methods utilized during adolescent years and reduced ability for effective disciplining. Importance of Homelife While much of the research conducted on single-parent and dual-parent households points to the disadvantages of single-parent families, there is extreme relevance in emphasizing the value of a secure, consistent, loving homelife to a child's upbringing. Single parents and dual parents alike have the ability to create a homelife for their child that provides stability, emotional support and dependability. Further studies conducted by Dr. Paul Amato along with Frieda Fowler, Department of Sociology at University of Nebraska-Lincoln, demonstrate that positive parenting techniques -- regardless of family structure, income level or diversity -- directly correlate to a favorable outcome for a child's development and success later in life. Any parenting model, whether it's single parent, biological dual parent, stepparent or cross-generational has the capacity to incorporate positive parenting methods such as understanding developmental needs, talking and listening, modeling respect, encouragement and participation. What are the components of Family Dynamics? 4/18/17 Family dynamics refers to the forces at work within the family, the interaction between family members, along with the resultant behaviors. Families may or may not be biologically related, and family, in this context, refers to all persons that live within a household, as well as biological family members who may live outside the household. There are a multitude of factors which are related to family dynamics, including the structure of the family itself, the income level of the family, the attitude towards education and spirituality that permeates the family, the number of siblings and their interactions with each other, and so on. Family Structure While the nuclear family, consisting of a father, mother and children, still predominate society in the United States and other the world, there are a wide variety of family situations including approximately 21 percent single-mother families and 5 percent single father families in the United States. Additionally, families can consist of married and non-married couples without children, children raised by grandparents or extended family, step-parents or non-married heterosexual couples, as well as married or non-married homosexual couples. Additionally, some children are raised by siblings, and some are in a temporary foster care family arrangement. The particular structure of the family affects relationships between couples, and has an influence in the relationships between a child and his parents or caregivers, a child with his siblings, and behavioral outcomes. Love and Nurturing Love binds a child to parents or to the caregiver. Love is an essential element in healthy family dynamics. The book "Sociology in a Changing World" by William Kornblum of the City University of New York, states that a lack of parental attention can result in emotional problems and even, in extreme cases, early death 1? This is a verified and trusted source "Sociology in a Changing World"; William Kornblum; 2008 Studies indicate that nurturance and parental love play "an important role in the development of the individual." Single Parent Families Single parent mothers or fathers may rely more upon grandparents for support and caregiving. Children, then, may be more attached to grandparents than children who are raised in a family with both parents. Conversely, grandparents can sometimes be resentful of added burdens placed on them, and this can be reflected in the way they interact with their grandchildren. While single parent families may have additional stresses than nuclear families, successfully raising children and healthy family interactions are attainable. Income Level While a high income is not a necessity for healthy family dynamics, income level can affect family dynamics. 60 percent of single mothers live below the poverty line in the United States. Dependence on government assistance, as well as the struggle to maintain daily needs, can affect a parent's view of themselves and their view and attitude towards the child. A high income level, however, does not ensure positive dynamics, but income level is only one factor among many that can have a bearing on family dynamics. Parenting Style Kimberly Kopko an associate of the Department of Policy Analysis and Management at Cornell University, describes four typical parenting styles: authoritative, firm but loving parenting; authoritarian, a somewhat dictatorial method of parenting; permissive, which is described as warm but undemanding and uninvolved parents. Parental warmth and responsiveness are also factors in family dynamics. Authoritative parenting is considered the most successful parenting style. How Does Family Structure Impact Language Development? - 9/26/17 Learning how to communicate clearly is an essential life skill, so it is important to understand what factors affect language development in children 3. Being aware of the ways in which family structure can influence a child's language development allows parents to better help their children develop the skills they will need to succeed in school and in life 3. Family Income According to a 2009 American Psychological Association article entitled "The Effects of Socioeconomic Status, Race, and Parenting on Language Development in Early Childhood," socioeconomic status is significantly correlated with language ability in children at 36 months 3. Children of low income parents are most likely to have language difficulties, while children of upper income parents are more likely to have above average verbal skills. Children in Day Care According to the National Institutes of Health, children who were enrolled in child care centers as infants and toddlers had above average language and social skills when entering kindergarten. However, it should be noted that the study also found parental involvement in a child's education was two to three times more important than the child's experience in a day care setting. Presence of Siblings in the Home It is common for parents to assume that having siblings to talk to provides a beneficial effect for a child's language development 3. However, a 1990 study from the University of Iowa found that birth order does not significantly influence a child's language development 3. First born or only children, middle children and youngest children were equally represented among the study group of children suffering from language impairments. Single Parent Homes The Human Early Learning Partnership found that preschoolers from single parent households had lower verbal reasoning skills than children from two parent homes 1. The site also reports that elementary school children from single parent homes are 27 percent more likely to be placed in special education classes at school. The exact reason for this is unknown, however. The children of single mothers are more likely to have other risk factors for language difficulties, such as living in poverty. It can be hard to separate the influence of all of these interconnected factors. Parental Involvement Living in a home with parents who
value reading and writing has the greatest positive effect
on a child's language development 3. According to Preparing
for Life, it is best to practice dialogic reading with young
children 3. This approach involves asking the child
questions about the book to make him an active participant
in the story instead of having him listen passively while an
adult is reading. Parents who practice dialogic reading with
their children encourage them to build their vocabulary and
practice their critical thinking skills. Parents with higher
incomes and greater education levels are more likely to
naturally engage in this type of interaction with their
children, but this technique is something that all parents
can easily do. Mother
absence matters just as much as father absence -
8/13/19 Many of the emails were from single mothers who, understandably, felt defensive—so much so they resorted to calling me racist for no reason. But one of the emails was thoughtful and calm, and it highlighted an obvious and just as important consequence of father absence: mother absence. The email said: "I was a single mom for five years. So when the father is missing from these boys' lives, so is the mother. Someone has to go out and provide, often working two or three jobs while the child stays in daycare or with a babysitter. With Mom being so tired when she gets home, she goes to bed. What the mass shooters did is wrong, but they probably never had anyone nurture them or love them. So really, when the provider is gone so is the mother—the nurturing one. It’s a sad epidemic." Indeed, divorce doesn't just lead to father absence but to mother absence as well. Not in quite the same way—most children of divorce live with their mothers. But those mothers aren't home. They're at work. The end result is the same for children whose parents are married but who both work full-time and year-round. These families function similarly to single parent families: in both instances, Mom and Dad are gone. Even when the parents are home, they're so drained of energy they have little left to give. That's why, for example, no one's in the kitchen anymore—it's too much work to cook. The result? Childhood obesity has soared. But children's physical health is only half the equation. The other half is their mental health, which has never been more precarious. Is there anyone out there who honestly believes parental absence and disconnection are unrelated to the meteoric rise in mental health problems among our youth? According to MARRIpedia, an online social science encyclopedia that translates the work of social scientists, "The early experience of intense maternal affection is the basis for the development of a conscience and moral compassion for others. Children whose mothers are distant emotionally or physically tend to have behavior problems and are more likely to commit crimes." Even if you were to reject the data and point to technology as the culprit for mental health issues in our youth, follow that argument to its end. Yes, media and the Internet have a huge influence. But guess why kids have access to it? Because no one's home. Or because when parents are home, they're too tired to do anything about it. Parental absence or disconnection—whether a result of divorce or of both parents being employed full time and year round—begins soon after birth, when too many babies are placed in the care of hired help for most of their waking hours. Fast forward 10, 15, or 25 years and they are still struggling—because their needs have never been met. No one knows this better than psychoanalyst Erica Komisar, author of Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters, whom I interviewed in my last podcast. “Parents come to my practice regularly to discuss symptoms their children exhibit due to their families having busier and more distracted lives, premature separation (children being placed in day care as early as 6 weeks old), and their parents’ lack of interest in nurturing...I have come to understand the connection between [depression, anxiety and addictions in older children and young adults] and the emotional and physical absence of young children’s mothers in their day-to-day lives.” she writes in the Wall Street Journal. It's not just enough for parents to be physically available—they need to be engaged when they're home. They need to be sensitive to the irreducible needs of children and not dismiss them because they have other things to do. That isn't happening. All of which is to say, when children
withdraw or lash out, or when they acquire mental health
issues, the proper response is connect the dots. Parental
absence and disconnection is rampant in America. The family
unit has collapsed. Missing
fathers and America's broken boys - the vast majority of
mass shooters come from broken homes - 2/19/18 The subject of “The Desperate Cry of America’s Boys” is a difficult one. To point out that boys need their fathers is to shine a spotlight on divorce and single mothers; and that is, admittedly, uncomfortable. But there’s no way to address fatherlessness comfortably. The fact is, divorce and family breakdown—which, to answer my emailer’s question, is the root of fatherlessness—is catastrophic for children. There’s more than one reason why, but an obvious one is that in the majority of cases, divorce separates children from their fathers. This is destructive to both boys and girls, but each sex suffers differently. Girls who grow up deprived of their father are more likely to become depressed, more likely to self-harm, and more likely to be promiscuous. But they still have their mothers, with whom they clearly identify. Boys do not have a comparable identification and thus suffer more from father absence. They also tend to act out in a manner that’s harmful to others, which girls typically do not. The root of fatherlessness rests in two things: our culture’s dismissal of men as valuable human beings who have something unique to offer, and its dismissal of marriage as an institution that’s crucial to the health and well-being of children. That’s not to say divorced parents can never make it work. Some do, especially those who work peacefully together to share equal custody of their kids and who either live near one another or get their own apartments and let their kids stay in the house while they, not the kids, go back and forth. But let’s face it: If most divorced couples could work that well together, they wouldn’t be divorced in the first place. Such circumstances are rare More often than not, children lose contact with their fathers—for two reasons. One, mothers remain the default custodial parent in the average American divorce and thus retain most of the control. Second, it is usually women who consider themselves the aggrieved party, as evidenced by the fact that wives initiate 70 percent of divorces. The unfortunate result is that some divorced mothers use any opportunity to undermine their children’s relationship with their father or, if not that, dismiss the significance of a father’s role. In 2016, when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were getting divorced, Jolie actually said it never crossed her that mind her son “Mad” would need a father. That may be an extreme example; but it’s not something anyone, Hollywood star or regular person, would have thought—let alone said—twenty years ago. It’s not that single mothers can’t be great mothers. They can. But they cannot be fathers. Children need their mother and their father to have the best shot in life. As another emailer named Tom, who’s been coaching basketball to young men ages 12-18, wrote, “Although not a guarantee, the two-parent family improves the chances for a young man to become a well-adjusted grown man. In the current progressive society we live in, the messages for these boys without a father at home to filter or to make sense of it puts these kids in an impossible position.” I can vouch for this as the mother of a 15-year-old son, who would not be the exceptional young man he is if not for his father. The truth is, I take very little credit for who my son has become. He needed me the most when he was little, but once he became aware of his male identity, it was his father—not me—he looked to for guidance and direction. His father was, and remains, his model for manhood. When boys don’t have this model, they suffer. And when they suffer, society suffers. A majority of school shooters come from fatherless homes; and a study of older male shooters (think Steven Paddock of the Las Vegas massacre) produces similar results. Indeed, the consequences of fatherlessness are simply staggering. And the saddest part is most absent fathers aren’t absent by choice. The “deadbeat dad” exists, but not in spades. In many instances, women are divorcing perfectly good husbands in their search for what they believe will be a better match—which is a natural outgrowth of no-fault divorce. Certainly, women who are married to abusive or dangerous men must file for divorce. But such husbands and fathers cannot account for the 70 percent female-led divorce rate. The root of fatherlessness is deep and wide, but it ultimately rests in two things: our culture’s dismissal of men as valuable human beings who have something unique to offer—on the one hand, we tell them to ‘man up,’ and on the other we tell them manhood is the problem—and its dismissal of marriage as an institution that’s crucial to the health and well-being of children. This long-standing belief has been supplanted by the notion that marriage is about the emotional fulfillment of adults. It is not. Marriage is about the needs of children, pure and simple. That’s how it began, and that’s how it remains. Children’s needs are the same today as they were one hundred years ago. It is we, not they, who have changed. Thus, it is we who have failed.
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