Emergency Phone/Chat/Text Numbers

Editor's note: The implementation of 988 over the first nine months has been difficult for much of rural America. (1) Congress left full funding up to the States, (2) Rural and Remote counties lacked infrastructure: (No ICU Safe beds in the county, limited Behavioral Health practitioners, no Crisis Response team, limited Behavioral Health and often medical health services in county schools); (3) Few if any trained Crisis line counselors except possibly 911 dispatch, and little or no experience with crisis text lines, the method most youth use today during crisis, and lack of knowledge of emojis they often use when describing the level of crisis they are in; and (4) crisis line counselors not understanding appropriate protocol when working with LGBTQ2AI+ youth who haven't come out to their parents or guardians. Please visit https://bit.ly/2BFZC6j to remain better informed. - Editor, Gordon Clay

Secrets No More - We would like you to check this out and participate if you can.
R U OK? Day
R U OK? How to ask, how to answer & why it’s so important
Warning Signs
Keep the Message Alive Every Day
RUOK? and Suicide Rates
Related topics:
Are you feeling suicidal? Attempts, Crisis Text Line - 741741, Crisis Trends, Contagion/Clustering, Depression, Emergency Phone/Chat/Text Numbers, Facebook Live , Guns, How to Help, How to talk with your kids about suicide, Mental Illness, Need to Talk?, Online Depression Screening Test , Oregon Suicides 1990 to date, Religion, Safety Plan, Secrets No More, 741741, Semicolon Campaign, Stigma, Suicide, Suicide Internationally, Suicide Notes, Suicide Resources, Suicide 10-14 Year-Olds, Teen Depression, Teen Suicide, 3-Day Rule, 13 Reasons Why', Warning Signs


What can you do?

1. Reconnect with someone you’ve lost touch with
2. Start a conversation and help make a difference
Read our tips on how to start a conversation
4. Watch a few of the YouTube videos and get inspired.


The R U OK?  Campaign
This campaign was first developed in Australia in 2009 with the intention of becoming an international program. Ongoing research shows the continuity continues to make the program strong so they haven't changed it since 2009, just added to it with toolkits, flyers, and other programs
. In 2015, I wrote the creators of the campaign to buy a couple of T-shirts. They said they weren't allowed to ship any item out of the country. But they did say if we followed their style guide, which is about a quarter-inch think, that we are welcomed to use their materials. I was asked to join their campaign on July 5, 2016 and produced and ordered the first R U OK? crisis wallet cards July 21, 2016. As long as I follow their Brand Identity Guidelines I have their blessing to produce banners, posters, flyers, wallet cars, display units, brochures, T-shirts, ball caps, wrist bands, mugs, pens, magnet car panels, even face masks. And I have done them all in the last five years. Enjoy some of the videos which provide an insight into this powerful, successful campaign. It's very simple. Notice someone acting out of character? Trust your gut. Start the conversation. Ask "R U OK?" and then lkisten.- Gordon Clay
How texting saves lives?
Must see video!
Signs - R U OK?
R U OK?'s impact
How to ask a workmate
The power of the conversation - R U OK?
The story of R U OK?
The conversations that counted:
R U OK?Day
Beyond OK: Gavin Larkin, the man behind R U OK? Day
Australian Story : The Larkin Family & R U OK? Day
'There's more to say after R U OK
How we've made an impact this year
Don't let them face it solo,
ask R U OK?
 What happened when Frank reconnected with Warwick
Together it’s OK! (R U OK?)
Our Impact - 2019
Tips for driving cultural change
The power of the conversation
Trust the signs. Trust your gut.
How a boss and a mate saved a life by caring to ask "R U OK?"
The power of the conversation - R U OK?
Dear James: There's Something
You Should Know
What happened when Justin reconnected with Mike
How a workmate helped
peel back the mask
What happened when Jay reconnected with Sam
How to ask a schoolmate R U OK?
A conversation with a colleague changed my life Emilie's story
Why a conversation can help a colleague
Rise up and ask R U OK?
Working in health care.
Emergency Services
"Thank you, you saved my life" Lauren's story
It takes a real workmate to ask
Not sure what to do?
When you notice a change in someone’s behaviour, no matter how small, trust that gut instinct, start a conversation that could change a life.

Stronger Together - How do you ask R U OK?
2021 R U OK?Day launch
How Emma asks R U OK?How
How Kirk asks R U OK?
How Dawn asks R U OK?
Kievin asks R U OK?
How Karen asks R U OK?
How Bianca asks R U OK?
How Troy asks R U OK?
Showing what to say after R U OK?
Make every day R U OK? Day
Ask the experts
Michelle Lim
Kamal Sarma
Nicholas Procter
Debra Brodowski
Vanessa Lee
Hugh Jackman
Simon Baker
What happened when Frank reconnected with Warwick
The Work Place
Rail R U OK? Day
"Keep an eye on your team."
Ask R U OK?
R U OK? Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards 2021
HERE Marty Zeck
Mic Donnley
Jamie - Parent
Greg Ward
Neal Mumford
Justin Gaines
Layne Beachley

Some Physician's Assistant
Graduate Student's Effort
Manspeak 01: Why it's ok not to have all the answers (R U OK?)
Manspeak 02: How to start a conversation if someone seems down
Manspeak 03: What to do when we don't have the answers
Manspeak 04: Some conversation tips for all the men out there
Manspeak 05: Why it's ok to ask for help
Manspeak 06: What not to do when a mate is down
Manspeak 07: What to say when a co-worker needs some support
Manspeak 08: How to be a great mate when things are tough

Manspeak 09: How to start a conversation with a mate
Manspeak 10: What to say when someone says "no"
Beyond OK: Gavin Larkin, the man behind R U OK? Day

Logic ft. Alessia Cara & Khalid Perform "1-800-273-8255”
Hollywood Undead - Bullet
How to tell your parents in a positive way that your suicidal.
Logic - 1-800-273-8255 ft. Alessia Cara, Khalid
Logic Tavis Smiley Interview discussing Anxiety, Depression, and Education
Logic and Alessia Explain the Importance of Their Powerful Hit Song

VMA's/MTV 2017
The 60th GRAMMYs

It Gets Better. Dr. Joe Kort
to LGBTQ Youth
Many more videos
Take Australia's Lead *
R U OK Concept
Industry worker says it all.
A conversation
The mask
Boss didn't give up
Business office
Work Mates
Cultural Change

* Australia has been working very successfully for several years with a very simple, consistent message to break the stigma around talking about suicide. It's down to earth in ways I believe would work to open up conversation that may save a life. See an addition 88 videos to get a sense of the flexibility plus additional information on the R U OK? Program. Includes research on the strong longevity of the program and how broad based it is tha includes 88 additional videos to demonstrate the flexibiliity.

R U OK? Day

R U OK? Day is the thirteenth of September.. It’s all about encouraging honest conversation about the hard stuff. It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to talk about it.

As a bit of background – the movement was started in 2009 and is run by “R U OK?”, an independent, not-for-profit organisation who are committed to preventing suicide through increasing connectedness and communication (About R U OK?).

Personally, I’ve had times where it doesn’t feel okay to tell anyone how I really am. I haven’t been able to say that my death would feel like a blessing. I’ve been in horrible, horrible mindsets. I’ve believed that suicide is the only answer. Now, I know that’s not the reality, but once I slip into a depressive state, all rational thinking disappears.

Supporting someone who is struggling with depression, with self-harm, with suicidal ideation, anything can be very hard work. No amount of love for a person makes caring for them any easier. I’ve been there too.

I’ve been on the other side of the phone – sitting with someone who is intensely suicidal, has self-harmed or is having a really difficult time. It takes a lot of skill, a lot of patience, and a lot of love to sit with someone who is struggling so much. I do think it needs to be said that those who find themselves in a carer/helper/supporter role do need to remember to take care of themselves too. Have firm boundaries in place and stick to them. Know when to seek professional help for your friend, family member or loved one.

No words can adequately describe how hard it is to support someone who is unwell…. but on the other hand no words can describe the gratitude I have for the people who have supported me through the tough times.

So, to all my readers – Are you okay? If you are – awesome. If not, speak up. Tell someone. Get it out there and let others share the burden with you. No one has to struggle alone.
Source: lifeasacommittee.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/r-u-ok-day/


Here I am on my thirtieth birthday. I look happy. And why wouldn't I? My tits were AHHH-MAZING.

The truth is, I had just had a miscarriage and was feeling very fragile. I was heartbroken, but to the rest of the world, I looked fine.

People are incredibly resilient. We survive many obstacles in a lifetime. But people are also excellent actors. Shiny, happy exteriors provding the perfect subterfuge for inner turmoil. I have been doing this for years.

Bubbly, loud, funny, fun - adjectives used to describe me. And yet, I have a long history of depression and a slightly less long history of anxiety. Mental illness has prevented me from living fully at different points in my life. At this particular point, I require anti-depressants in order to be okay.

That is my truth. For now.

Many people have asked me, "Don't you worry about taking those drugs long term? Don't you want to get off them?"* Yes and yes.

But you know what worries me more? Falling apart in front of my family. Exposing my children to the dangerous lows associated with my untreated depression. Subjecting myself to the terror of unchecked anxiety. I know what is more important.

In the future, who knows? But for now, I am so happy that I can answer the question, "R U OK?" with a resounding YES.

So how about you? R U OK?

If the answer is no or maybe you're not sure, know that there is no shame in reaching out. I started with a GP I trusted. Maybe you can, too.

Today is R U OK Day. Check out the website here.

The Hard Hat Brotherhood Archive

(Editor's note: The R U OK? campaign was established in 2009 with tremendous success. In 2015 I wrote the creators of the campaign to buy a couple of T-shirts. They said they weren't allowed to ship any item out of the country. But they did say if we followed their style guide, which is about a quarter-inch think, that we are welcomed to use their materials. We started the R U OK? campaign here in Curry County in 2016 and it's still going strong.)

September 13th is national R U OK? Day in Australia, which comes in an ironically timely fashion for me; after a few pretty good weeks, I’m going through a(nother) nasty little stormy patch right now. It comes and goes so quickly and with SO little warning. If you’re a fellow Aussie, you may have also noticed Buddy Franklin in the news over the last day or so, dealing with something similar, with some of his closest family and friends stating that they were unaware of his battle with mental illness. Ahhh to have a dollar every time that phrase was uttered… “Ohh, I had no idea, you seem so normal!” (I’m not a bloody alien!) And that’s the thing that makes mental illness so deadly; people still don’t talk about it because they’re, I dunno, embarrassed about it, feel awkward about it, still believe in the stigmas attached (all because the education isn’t there). And so, this horribly isolating, dangerous disease (every single bit as deadly as other serious PHYSICAL illnesses, by the way) goes unnoticed, often until its too late. And that’s what R U OK? Day is all about.

If you’ve never heard of it or seen the logo, in their own words, they are:

…a not-for-profit organisation founded by Gavin Larkin in 2009, whose vision is a world where we’re all connected and are protected from suicide. Accordingly, our mission is to encourage and equip everyone to regularly and meaningfully ask “are you OK?”

We know that suicide prevention is an enormously complex and sensitive challenge the world over. But we also know that some of the world’s smartest people have been working tirelessly and developed credible theories that suggest there’s power in that simplest of questions – “Are you OK?”

I’ve written a little about my own struggle with depression, anxiety and disordered eating before on here, but as a general rule, I’m not super open with it. Actually, let me re-word that; if I’m asked, I’m honest. If someone is genuinely asking, from a non-judgmental place, what’s going on and wants to know how I feel and where I’m at and how I got to that point, I will be open and candid about it. I don’t feel shame over it; it is what it is. Some people are affected by diabetes, and they don’t have to apologise for it. Some people are coaelic, and that’s not their fault. People with Crohn’s disease or endometriosis or melanoma aren’t expected to have to defend themselves and the perceived ‘inconvenience’ their illness is causing for people who don’t understand it. This is no different. For whatever reason, the way my brain is wired and the way the chemicals interact up there has caused me to end up with depression. I am not depression, but I do suffer from it. It doesn’t define me, but it does affect me.

As for the aspect of it all that R U OK? deal with, suicide, that’s not a subject I’ve written about before, and I’m not certain I ever will. It’s a difficult subject to broach; it’s something that everyone has an opinion on, and those opinions are all very personal and formed from our own experiences. I also tend not to discuss it because, like mental illness full stop, a lot of people out there don’t take it seriously. I will post a review on this book next week, because I think it’s completely necessary reading for every single person who is or knows someone affected by depression (basically everyone on the planet), but in his absolutely brilliant book Reasons To Stay Alive, Matt Haig writes this:

“Suicide is now – in places including the UK and US – a leading cause of death, accounting for over one in a hundred fatalities. According to figures from the World Health Organization, it kills more people than stomach cancer, cirrhosis of the liver, colon cancer, breast cancer and Alzheimer’s. As people who kill themselves are, more often than not, depressives, depression is one of the deadliest diseases on the planet. It kills more people than most other forms of violence – warfare, terrorism, domestic abuse, gun crime – put together… Yet people still don’t think depression really is that bad.”

Those statistics, I think, really speak for themselves. So, instead of discussing my thoughts on suicide per se, I want to focus on one big thing we can do to prevent it. It’s easy enough that anyone can do it, it costs nothing, and it could save a life. Wanna know what this big thing is? Talking.


The theory behind R U OK? is that a simple conversation could be all it could take to save a life. Talking, asking, listening, opening the conversation and therefore taking the stigma and secrecy out of the suffering. It’s as simple to affect change as just asking someone “are you OK?”

How to ask

Like I said, it’s a difficult subject. It’s hard enough to talk about your own feelings of hopelessness, let alone ask someone else about theirs. If there’s someone in your life you’re worried about and who seems like they’re doing it a bit tough, here are a few ways you can ask them if they’re OK…

1. Make time for it: Personally, while I appreciate friends asking me if I’m OK, there’s nothing worse than being asked at an inappropriate time or place, because then it kinda feels like they’re only asking because they feel like they have to, not because they want to. Ask R U OK? when you have time to stop and listen to the response, not as you’re rushing off between appointments. And consider where you are, too – the middle of the office or a quiet cafe might not be the best!

2. Let them know you’re concerned and don’t take no for an answer. Then, just let them talk: After asking “are you OK?” you’ll most likely be met with “yeah, fine, why?” Don’t take it at face value – if you know this person well, and your gut is telling you they’re not fine, call them on it. Tell them that you’re not entirely sure you believe that, and while you may not understand exactly what they’re going through, you’d like to try to understand and help where you can. If you’re worried, don’t let it go. Once you’ve expressed your concern, then just let them talk. When you’re used to keeping it all bottled up and someone actually, genuinely makes the time and effort to ask if you’re OK, it takes a little time to express what’s going on. Give them a moment to gather their thoughts, and when they do start talking, don’t feel the need to jump in and problem solve; sometimes just giving voice to what’s been swimming around in your head helps!

3. Let them know it’s not their fault: People who struggle with mental illnesses of all sorts often feel like it’s their fault. Like they’ve done something wrong to deserve it. One of the most comforting things you do is reassure them that this is not their fault, that yes it is a shitty situation, but it’s not their fault they’re in it. Depression is a nasty, irrational illness, and it doesn’t discriminate who it chooses to shoot down. But no one asks for it.

4. Do NOT say any of the following things, under ANY circumstances:

  • It’s all in your head, you’re fine.
  • You have a great life, I don’t know what you could possibly be so depressed about.
  • There are heaps of people who are worse off than you.
  • Just smile!
  • You can actually control this, just decide to be happy.
  • Yeah I know what it’s like, I have shit days too.- This has been going on for a while, shouldn’t you be better by now?
  • Shit happens, just get over it.
  • You’re so over dramatic, you just want attention.

And in case you’re wondering, I speak from personal experience here. Yes, people have said all of those things to me at some point. Some of them have even been said by family members. This is why I don’t have a lot of meaningful relationships anymore.

5. Set boundaries: While it’s very tempting to want to jump straight in to savior mode when a loved one is hurting, that’s not necessarily the best thing for either of you. Yes you’re their friend or family, yes you care very much, and yes you want to help. But sometimes the best way to help isn’t letting them transfer all their problems and hurts on to you. Let them know you’d like to help where you can, but make sure you’re not doing that at the cost of your own mental health. Offer to go along to a psychologist appointment if they feel like they need the support, or catch up for a weekly coffee and chat, but don’t cancel your plans day after day to be checking up on them. Encourage them to find solutions that will work for them rather than trying to do it all for them.


How to answer

This is hard to write, because it’s very personal and individual. And personally, I hate being asked. I’ve been conditioned to shut up and put up, display the shiny, happy veneer to the outside world and deal with the hurt myself. But the older I get, the more I realise I can’t keep it up forever.

1. Put yourself in their shoes: If anything, depression makes you even more sensitive to other people’s hurts. A lot of people struggling with depression (myself included) try extra hard to make sure everyone else is doing OK as a way of deflecting our own problems. If you saw a friend who seemed down and out, you’d ask them too, so don’t get your back up when someone asks you – it means you’re loved!

2. Don’t get defensive: Assuming they’re coming from a place of understanding and love, they’re not accusing you of anything; they’re worried about you. They’re ready to listen, so you don’t need to defend how and what you’re feeling. Drop your guard and let them see you, not your mask.

3. Be open to help: It can be hard enough opening up to someone you know and love; it’s a whole different ball game opening up to a stranger. But you can’t use your loved one as a crutch. Asking if you’re OK is a way for them to make you realise that you’re actually not OK, and for you to become OK is probably going to take a bit of work on your part. Be open to outside help, because it’s unfair to expect your loved one to solve all your problems for you.

4. Be honest: If you’re not OK, say so. If someone cares enough about you to actually ask, the least you can do is be honest. They wouldn’t be asking if they couldn’t handle it, so tell them what’s going on as honestly and openly as you can. You’d be surprised how good it feels to get all the shit that’s been building up out of your head and into words. It can also help put things into perspective and give you a new lease on your problems, hearing them out loud instead of having them swim around in your head.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help: If they care about you, one of the first things they’re going to do is tell you to let them know what they can do to help. You don’t offer your best friend help if you don’t mean it, so if having someone bring their extra dinner left overs to work for your lunch so you don’t have to cook, or picking up your kids from school, or just catching up for an hour over a cup of tea is going to really help you, let them know! Even your closest friends aren’t mind readers; if they don’t know what you’re going through, how can you expect them to know what they can do to help??

And lastly, SAY THANK YOU!!! Not everyone is lucky enough to have someone care enough to ask if they’re OK. If someone asks you, thank them.


Tomorrow, let’s all put a bit of love out there and start the conversation, because you never know whose life you might be saving – all you need to ask is “R U OK?”

If you’re not OK, please consider seeking help from: National Hopeline 800-273-TALK (8255), Curry County, Oregon Crisis Line 877-519-9322 or text SOS to 741741.
Source: ordinarygirlextraordinarydreamer.com/2015/09/09/r-u-ok-how-to-ask-how-to-answer/

Keep the Message Alive Every Day

If you really want to make a difference, we need your help to champion the message in your workplace, school and community. You don't have to do it alone because we've some amazing resources you can use.

R U OK? at Work

A place where asking the question “are you ok?” can really work is in the workplace. As employers or staff, we can all create a culture where people feel confident asking and answering this most important question. Besides our legal responsibility of providing a safe and healthy workplace, these conversations can make a real difference to staff going through a tough time.

Are you a HR manager, team leader or just a great team player? Download our resources below to help get your team talking.

Here are some tips on how to make the best use of this material:

  • Choose the resource kit that will resonate best with your colleagues.
  • Send it out at a thoughtful time (for example: around staff reviews, on the completion of a large project, at the end of the financial year).
  • Ask someone well-known and respected at work to send out the initial email. It’s a good way to ensure the staff read it.
  • Put up the posters in popular hang-out areas, as people need to see a message a few times for it to sink in.
  • Include a story in your employee newsletter (a heartfelt story by an employee is always good).
  • Mention the campaign at any relevant forums.
  • Invite workplace champions to share their feedback with us.

R U OK? at School

Something we're never too young to learn is that asking "are you ok?" can make a difference - and it's a message R U OK? wants to take into the classroom.

By giving teenagers the confidence to start conversations regularly and with real care, they can be the generation that transforms the way we look out for anyone struggling with life.

Whether you're a teacher needing great activities for your PDHPE lessons - or you're a student who wants to make a difference - download the resources below.

R U OK? in the Work Place and in the Field

As fly-in fly-out or drive-in drive-out practices become more common, more workers are being separated from their family and friend support networks. This is why we’ve been working with businesses to encourage workmates to back each other by asking “are you ok?”

Are you a HR manager, team leader or just a great team player?

  • Choose the resource kit that will most appeal to your workmates.
  • Send it out at a thoughtful time (for example: around staff reviews, on the completion of a large project, at the end of the financial year).
  • Ask someone well-known at work to send out the initial email. It’s a good way to ensure the staff read it.
  • Put up the posters in popular hang-out areas, as people need to see a message a few times for it to sink in.
  • Include a story in your employee newsletter (a heartfelt story by an employee is always good).
  • Mention the campaign at any relevant forums.
  • Invite workplace champions to share their feedback with us.

Seeing who's struggling isn't always obvious.

It's not always obvious that someone is struggling - and we sometimes need to be reminded to trust our gut instinct and dig a bit deeper. This kit includes posters (including one with a conversation flowchart), toolbox talking points and a PPT presentation on how to start a conversation. (Coming in the summer of 2023)

It's ok to say, "I'm not ok.'

A conversation could change a life

©2017-2023, www.ZeroAttempts.org/ruok.html or https://bit.ly/329z0Vu